I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
