my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
