The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
