im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
