Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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