Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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