I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
