he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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