At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
