We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
