thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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