someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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