normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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