I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
