Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
