I'm drive I can fine osifer
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Never joke about your clitoris.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
