oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
