Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
