She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
