We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
