Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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