he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
