where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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