Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
