He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
