Nicole vs. Life
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
