I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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