Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
