i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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