I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
