Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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