Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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