How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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