If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
COCAINE IS GR8
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
