all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
