If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
