if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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