ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
