whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
