omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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