I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
