I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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