i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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