soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
