sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
