if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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