So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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