Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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