If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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