Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
